The simple joy of a conversation with my husband over a glass of wine

by Lorin Michel Saturday, October 10, 2015 10:00 PM

Last night, Kevin and I went to the movies. We caught a late afternoon/early evening showing of The Martian and thoroughly enjoyed it. We’re very particular about the films we choose to see in the theater. Most of those released don’t interest us enough to take the time or spend the money to see and so we wait for Netflix. It’s a system that works well for us. But we spent both the time and the money yesterday and it was well worth it. The film was great. 

As we often do after seeing a movie we enjoy, we talk about it. I suppose it’s something most people do, but I never did that with my first husband. He and I didn’t talk about much of anything so I guess that’s not so hard to believe. Kevin and I talk about everything. We enjoy talking. We enjoy hearing each other’s point of view. We enjoy going deep into a conversation. 

Often when we leave a film, we’re quiet. When that happens, we know we both enjoyed it. We’re thinking. We’re replaying certain scenes in our minds. As we walk to the car, fingers intertwined, one of us will say “so, what did you think?” and the other will start to nod and grin and counter with “I thought it was great. You?” It doesn’t matter who starts or who responds. It’s almost interchangeable. We already know. But we need to start talking about it because we each liked it and there’s so much we want to discuss; to find out what the other thought of that scene, or “What do you think that meant?’

I’m sure most people do the same. But it’s in our nature to dissect. We become hyper-focused. We think almost too much. We reach into the far corners to see what we can come up with.

We did it when we saw Cast Away. We were both very moved by that film, especially by its both blatant and subtle symbolism. I’ve written about that before, here

The Martian, in some ways, was Cast Away in space. Except it wasn’t. There wasn’t really any symbolism. There were just obstacles, and the sheer will to figure out how to survive. In that way, Cast Away may have been the stronger of the films. But The Martian was sheer, experiential fun. It was a ride. We loved it from the beginning. The unsentimentality of it. The old-fashioned story telling aspect of it. It didn’t rely on special effects. Even though it was set in space, it was remarkably grounded in good old-fashioned science. Mars just happened to be the backdrop. And what a spectacular backdrop it was. Jordan’s Wadi Rum provided the location. It was exquisite and completely believable as the surface of Mars.

Last night, we sat at the table having a light dinner, a nice salad. And a bottle of wine that had just arrived from the California Wine Club, a blend called Sunset Red from a winery called Burnside Road. We talked more about the film, about the actors, about the landscape; about the fun and intelligence of the story. We laughed as we recounted some of the lines, like “They’re launching me into space in a convertible.”

As I listened to Kevin laugh, I thought how wonderful that after all these years we still do this, that we will enjoy each other, that we’d rather be with just us than just about anyone else. It’s rare; it’s delightful. It’s one of the great joys of my life, to sit and talk with my husband while we sip wine and watch the twinkle of the city lights. It’s the very definition of living it out loud.

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