I have a theory about movies and relationships

by Lorin Michel Friday, March 6, 2015 8:21 PM

Last night after we watched the first episode of American Crime, which we liked a great deal, we did our usual channel surfing. We used to watch the local news after prime time TV was over but we stopped doing that about a year and a half ago. The market is a small one and the local news is always kind of ridiculous. Even in Los Angeles, much of the local news was borderline laughable. The only difference is that LA is one of the top markets in the country so the on-air talent was a bit more, well, talented. Here in Tucson, a decidedly small market, the on-air talent is a bit more breathless in their pronouncement of the ridiculous. The only person we only halfway like is the chief meteorologist on the ABC affiliate, inartfully named KGUN.

One of my first go-to channels for late-night surfing is USA, because Kevin likes to always catch an episode or two of Law & Order: SVU. Last night USA was running a movie we weren’t interested in. The next go-to is Turner Classic Movies. During the month of February, they do 28 days of Oscar running films that won Academy Awards for one thing or another. We saw everything from All the President’s Men to Out of Africa to All About Eve. It’s March now so all the good movies have already played. That must be why they were running Airport. Coincidentally the film was released on March 5, forty-five years ago. I saw it originally when I was eight, watching through the small gap between the front seat of my parent’s car. We were at the drive-in.

The next time I saw it was on my honeymoon, with husband #1. We were in Monterey, at a beautiful inn on Cannery Row. He was asleep, I was channel surfing and ended up watching a movie about a bomb blowing a hole in the side of an airplane. It should tell you something about my first marriage. I use it as a bit of a metaphor. 

I have a theory about movies and relationships. It goes something like this. I believe, based on absolutely no scientific evidence whatsoever, that the first movie a couple sees together as a couple sets the stage for their relationship. The first movie husband #1 and I saw together was Escape from Alcatraz. I hadn’t developed my theory yet; I was still too infatuated to even think that it might be an omen. I mean, a movie about a guy living in the most notorious prison in the country for years and then finally escaping? If that isn’t a metaphor for a bad marriage, I’m not sure what is.

The only truly serious boyfriend I had between husband #1 and favorite husband #2 was with a guy named David. I liked him a lot. I wanted him to the one, but he liked me far more than I liked him. We were together for about five months. The first movie I saw with him was Frankenstein, a movie about a guy cobbled together with parts from other guys. Symbolic, don’t you think?

Kevin and I saw Pulp Fiction as our first movie. I had developed my theory by then, but didn’t share it. It was much too early to do so as it was just our second date. We laugh about it now. It’s such a profane movie. A series of vignettes where the word mother f#$%er gets thrown around a lot. Sort of like our lives.

Justin and Joanne saw Despicable Me as their first movie. Considering he just broke up with her, I suspect she thinks it was prophetic. Justin probably does too, since I know he feels very badly about the whole situation. He feels despicable.

Roy and Bobbi saw Ordinary People as their first movie. She laughs and tells me that it’s perfect. I think it might be the exception. If it was titled Extraordinary People I might think differently.

Movies so often mirror real life, in ways that we really don’t completely comprehend. But when you think about it, and you look at basic plot structure, it makes sense. Movies are us, and we are them, with our relationships defined by a 70 foot screen and dolby surround. That’s definitely the sound of living it out loud.

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live out loud

Comments (2) -

3/7/2015 4:29:12 AM #

Hah! I think Intold you this before. Johns and my first movie was E.T.
....and he was. You might be on to something.. ;)

Pam United States

3/7/2015 4:29:46 AM #

Damn autocorrect... " I told"

Pam United States

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