I am liberated

by Lorin Michel Saturday, May 3, 2014 10:55 PM

Warning: This post may fall under the guise of too much information so for those who are shy, or easily offended, you may want to avert your eyes.

I am a liberated woman today. I am free. I feel unrestrained, alive, ready to take on anything or anyone. I am also comfortable. The reason for this liberation is simple. I have rid myself and my life of underwire bras. For years, I, like many women, thought that it was somehow a better look. It didn’t matter that it was moderately uncomfortable. In the immortal words of Fernando, the character played so hilariously by Billy Crystal on Saturday Night Live, it was better to look good than to feel good.

I found underwire bras extremely uncomfortable. And to be perfectly frank, and again warning, danger Will Robinson, I am not all that well endowed. I’m pretty average. So I’m not sure why I ever decided that I should wear the dreaded wire. But decide I did, and for a while it wasn’t horrible. But then it got to just be irritating, literally.

Like most women, the first thing I do when I get home from being at a meeting, or out with friends, or out to dinner, a movie, the theatre, is take off my makeup and my bra. It’s a ritual. You ladies can understand. It’s just, well, liberating.

It had gotten so bad that I actually dreaded putting the thing on to go a meeting or out with friends or out to dinner, a movie, the theatre. I changed brands. I bought new bras regularly (and let me tell you, good underwear that comes equipped with its own weapon system ain’t cheap).

Sidebar: I read or actually skimmed an article last week that cited a study – an actual scientific report ­– on the fact that men tend to keep their underwear much longer than they should. Up to seven years. And men’s underwear isn’t nearly as expensive as women’s. You can get a three-pack of boxers at Kohls or Target or just about any Walgreens for about $9.

Being a girl is hard. Cue the violins.

Several weeks ago it was once again time to buy new underwear and bras. I decided I was done with the underwire. I had been toying with the idea of ditching the nasty for a while anyway. What sealed the deal was a basal cell carcinoma removed by my dermatologist, right where my underwire rests. Of all the places to get a skin cancer, this is one of the most uncomfortable. I go back on Thursday for a further excision and stitches. This would and will render the wearing of body armor nearly impossible.

So I took the plunge. Instead of my usual online trip to Victoria’s Secret, I went to Amazon. You know, that sexy retailer known far and wide for their lingerie and titillating under garments. It seems that Hanes makes a lovely Comfort Support Wire Free bra. I went for it. I decided to free myself from the confinement, discomfort and evidently skin cancer causing underwire bras.

I am now a liberated woman. I am celebrating. The girls are living it out loud.

[I would include a picture but this is a family blog. My son sometimes reads. I don’t want to scar him for life.]

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live out loud

Comments (2) -

5/4/2014 7:13:02 AM #

Bahahahahahaha! Love it!

Pam United States

5/5/2014 4:48:27 AM #

Hanes...here I come!!!!!

Larissa United States

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