Clean clean clean

by Lorin Michel Sunday, September 8, 2013 1:09 AM

Every once in a while I stand in my house and survey the damage that general living can and does do. Dust settles, mail piles up, foot prints, both human and canine, work the floor. Clothes are strewn in the bedroom, laundry piles up. Hair gathers on the bathroom floor and no matter how many times I try to pick it all up, it never seems to work. Coffee cups assemble, dishes stack. Water stains, dog slobber. Ugh. It’s enough to drive a woman to drink. But since it was too early for anything but coffee I decided that the creamy hot liquid would have to do.

I surveyed, I assessed. I came to the conclusion that it was Saturday and since I hadn’t done a good top to bottom and side to side cleaning in several weeks today was the day.

But first I had to finish my coffee. And have a second cup. Then half of a third. I had a yogurt. Fixed Kevin a bagel with egg and cheese. Played a little Wubba with Cooper. Then it was time. I couldn’t put it off any longer. I went into the kitchen, opened the cabinet under the sink, grabbed the lemon-scented Comet which really isn’t, the 409, the Windex. I took the roll of paper towels from the dispenser, then went to the laundry room, reached up over the washer and dryer and grabbed the first two of the many rags I would use. Then I started.

We have three bathrooms. I went through each one, scrubbing, buffing. After each, I deposited the rags on the washing machine for a later wash, then took down two new clean ones. Once finished, after about two hours, I put the Comet, 409, Windex and paper towels away, and took the dust rag and the furniture polish. I went through each room, dusting, spraying the rag to wipe wood furniture. When that was done, I pulled the vacuum from the closet and started on the floor. I went from room to room to room to room. We have hard floors and some throw rugs so mostly I was vacuuming the floors but for the rugs, I’d adjust the height on the tool, sweep the rug. Every once in a while I had to stop to clean off all of the dog fur.

I really don’t understand how the dog is not bald with all of the fur he loses.

I mopped the floors next. I straightened things up. Unloaded the dishwasher and the dishes in the sink. Sorted the mail. Started laundry.

Then I went to visit my husband who was building something in the garage. The car was sitting in the driveway, and it was extremely dirty. So that was the next task. First I had to de-fur it because Cooper was inside several weeks ago and there was dog hair everywhere. Several hours later, I started actually washing the exterior of the car.

Then it was time for laundry.

By the time I was done, my hands were stiff, the skin shriveled. But my house was clean. Actually it was clean, clean, clean. Ditto the car.

We saw an episode of something once where there was an OCD patient who needed to know if the room, the instruments, the people were clean. Only, because he suffered from Obessive Compulsive Disorder, he didn’t just need it all clean; he needed it clean, clean, clean.

Ever since I fired my cleaning people I’ve found that I get to the point of OCD. It takes a few weeks but when the mail starts piling up and the laundry is overflowing and the corners of the floor are teeming with fur tumbleweeds, I succumb.

When today started, my house was in need of cleaning. Tonight, as I write this, my house is clean. Clean. Clean.

And I am celebrating with the glass of wine previously mentioned since it’s now a  more appropriate time.

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live out loud

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