It happened like this. Riley was being his usual Riley self. We came back from the walk, and he grabbed Wubba. Raced around the house, back and forth, swinging Wubba wildly from side to side, effectively flaying himself with his toy. Who knew I had an Opus Dei puppy?
Wubba, for the uninitiated, is made by Kong and is a relatively sturdy dog toy that consist of a ball wrapped in some type of material with five long tassel-type legs/feet. Riley is currently on his fourth Wubba in nine months as a Michel, which is actually pretty good considering that most of Riley’s toys last between 30 minutes and two days. This Wubba has heavy duty rope as its ball. The streamers are heavy red canvas. One of those streamers has been shortened by half thanks to canine incisors. Otherwise, Wubba is fairly in tact. Wubba is also the toy of choice most morning’s when one needs to swing.
Another toy that often gets the nod is Bob who used to be Wubba before he lost all of his legs/feet tassel/streamers. The joke writes itself.
My two boys were playing, Riley grabbing Wubba and bouncing through the house, growling and swinging. Kevin saying variations of “gimme that Wubba.” Occasionally this command works. Riley drops Wubba at Kevin’s feet, backs away slightly, gets down and stares at it, willing Kevin to pick it up and throw it. I didn’t used to allow the throwing of toys in the house because something would inevitably get broken. But because of the wide and long expanse of the main walkway, and the fact that there’s nothing in said walkway save for two steps, I have relaxed this rule. Gimme indeed.
Kevin tossed Wubba up toward the master bedroom. Riley took off for it, easily clearing the two steps with one leap. He’s Super Riley. He hit the brakes, grabbed Wubba just as it was heading for under the bed, locked it in his jaws, shook him as if to say “dude, you are NOT allowed under there,” pivoted and took off back towards Kevin who was still in the walkway near the kitchen.
Riley raced down the hall, ears flying, Wubba’s legs/feet whipping. He took off, as he usually does when he’s racing, to clear the steps because, really, why actually use the steps when one can fly over them. When he does this, when he flies, the fast clip of his nails on the tile suddenly stops and for a brief few seconds there is a soft silence. He is air born. He is free.

And then he hits the tile about nine feet away from where the steps end, takes a few leaps forward and then slides to a stop. This time, he lost his footing. His front feet splayed, his back feet tucked under and suddenly he was on his side, sliding, sliding, spinning, whirling. Wubba went air born, too, suddenly untethered, and crashed onto the foyer tile. Riley, eyes wide, tongue out, ears pinned, slid right into the corner of the rock column. Kevin, concerned, immediately moved to make sure he was OK but before he could get there, Riley was up, bouncing, racing to get Wubba, growling. Let’s go!
Kevin had him come over, and calm down. “It’s OK. OK. Zen puppy. Ohhhmmmmm.”
I was on the phone with a client while this was going on. I didn’t hear any yelps so I figured it was safe to say – think? – that the dog wasn’t hurt. I got off of my call and went to see what had happened. Riley, Wubba in his mouth, was trying to be calm, standing, leaning actually, against Kevin. Hi mom. Wanna play some Wubba?
“It was a total f&%^ing wipeout,” Kevin said when he saw me. A TFW. And just like that, new meme was born.